On setting boundaries

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #152

Today want to express gratitude to the Universe for kindly giving me plenty of opportunities lately to practice setting my boundaries.  I often wish it was a one time thing, that you just set your boundaries once and for all, and then they were there, stable and protective forever.

However it is not so, and I keep realising that I have to figure out my boundaries anew.  Which makes sense of course, because I am constantly learning and evolving, what I may once have accepted no longer feels OK or that the ‘should’ that pressured me in the past is clearly not my monkey to take.

Setting boundaries is hard for me as a people pleaser. Speaking up about what doesn’t work for me is a weak set of muscles that need to be trained, over and over again.  I would love to say that with all this practice I’ve got it figured out, but I keep on struggling to hear the truth my intuition whispers to me, amongst the noise of ‘I should’ and ‘might be cool’. Actually, I don’t want ‘cool’ and if I find that I’m trying to convince myself to do something, I realise I’m pushing my boundaries and I am the only person who can respect them for me.

When I set my boundaries it is far from elegant, I find it scary to put my needs out there, not knowing how people will react.  But regardless of the way my message is delivered, it does feel empowering when I identify my boundaries and stick up for myself.  I have to keep reminding myself the short-term effort is worth it for my future self.

4 thoughts on “On setting boundaries

  1. I often find it difficult to do this too. Sometimes I don’t get the right balance at all, leaving myself depleted. Then I find I have to swing back the other way, almost shutting everyone else out in order to recalibrate.

    Here’s to the empowerment that comes from setting these in a way that feels right and true.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for this piece. It is so good to be reminded to listen to our gut feeling when it comes to boundaries… Many times I feel I should do something, I don’t want to say no as I think I will disappoint someone, I feel obliged…so I don’t listen to my inner voice and then regret as it always takes so much of my energy….and I feel drained. It is how I ended up in many toxic relationships/environments/situations in the past…and it’s not worth it. So thank you for this reminder!

    Liked by 1 person

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