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On my way to Brighton

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #68

Long weekends are the best! Heading off to Brighton with my dear friend Eva, a few days to breathe in the sea breeze and take the time to get to know the city. I last went during my student days when I lived in London (over 15 years ago… what??!!!) so I’m really looking forward to (re)discovering it.  So far our plans include perhaps going for a hike if the weather isn’t too cold, but we’ll settle for spending our days in bookstores, museums or cafés with tea and scones if we really must;)

Not listening to the ‘shoulds’

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February in Amsterdam has been sunny but relentlessly cold.  Typically on the weekend I have a lot of ‘shoulds’ popping up, like ‘I should go out for a long walk to get fresh air’ and ‘I should make the most of the sun to take some photos’…  Most of the time that works for me and being outdoors makes me feel great. However in these days the winter now feels like it is dragging on. Despite the days getting longer, the cold feels excruciating and my fingers ache in the freezing air as I try to snap pictures.  So I decided to give myself a break and make it a weekend for lying on the couch with the sun pouring through the window, reading an easy thriller uninterrupted for several hours, and for enjoying fun conversations over a lengthy delicious brunch in a warm cafe. It was perfect!

Graduation time

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #67

Today I witnessed my sister Helena’s Master graduation from the University of Amsterdam in Social and Cultural Anthropology.  It was an intimate ceremony where her supervisor spoke about the experience of accompanying her along the journey of writing her thesis about young women practising casual sex in Taiwan. Helena received lots of well-deserved compliments about her research, the quality of her writing style and the deep respect she shows for her participants.

I was lucky to be alongside Helena throughout her Master, as she stayed on our couch regularly, always arriving just on time for dinner and bringing her curiosity, her jokes and her good mood to our home.  As we cooked tasty meals, we had conversations on all sorts of topics ranging from feminism to the latest series we love to watch, from travel stories to the particularities of the naked mole rat… I am super grateful that we could spend all this time together:)

Committed to slowing down

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Things I’ve noticed since the start of my mindfulness course:

  • It’s much easier to watch Narcos for 45 minutes than to carve out those same 45 minutes for a daily body scan meditation (and at the end of the body scan I never think to myself ‘just one more’!)
  • Pausing instead of reacting like I normally do has positive effects on me and my communication with others.
  • I spend a huge amount of my days on autopilot, just going through the motions without stopping to think about what I am doing.  When I do stop and breathe, it seems increasingly absurd.
  • Being more mindful has made me more aware of how I race from one thing to the next and how fast others around me are rushing. I deeply believe we could all benefit from slowing down and I’m committed to starting with myself. I’ve reduced my working hours to 80% and am consciously trying to BE more and DO less. Let’s see how it goes!

An intriguing sight

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #66

Last weekend, though it was freezing cold, I couldn’t resist the beautiful sunshine so I took a long walk to get some fresh air and vitamin D.  I headed to my favorite place by the water, an area in my neighbourhood which I appreciate no matter the season (I’ve written about it here and here :).

This time I was enchanted by this intriguing sight. I absolutely love how this flock of seagulls seem to have each chosen their own post and then faced the sun at the exactly the same angle, standing very still and basking in the light in such an orderly manner.  Birds will never cease to amaze me!

Impressions of Orvieto

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In the first days of the new year, I was visiting my boyfriend’s family in Rome and we decided to look for an excursion a little further afield that was easily accessible by public transport.  We chose Orvieto, a fortified town on the top of a massive rock.

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Stepping off the train it was grey and misty, but as we rode up the hill in the cable car we pierced the clouds and at the top, from the walls of the fortress, we found ourselves overlooking the most beautiful sea of clouds over the valley.

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There is an amazing cathedral with incredible patterns and dizzy-making columns on the facade.  Once inside, we pretended to be part of an organised group and tagged along to listen to the explanations of their very knowledgeable guide who was pointing out the stories and details of the frescoes that made them come alive. Some of the paintings seem like they came straight out of a science-fiction scene including lasers and 3D effects.

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Orvieto is a small town and I was glad to be visiting it off-season (despite the biting cold) as I can imagine it can get swamped with hordes of tourists in the summer.  I particularly enjoyed exploring the winding streets a little outside the touristy center, looking at the details of the old stone houses overlooking the valley and imagining what must have been like to live there in the past.

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How to get there by public transport: take the train from Rome to Orvieto station (approx. 1 hour), then simply cross the street where you can buy a ticket to get on the cable car that will take you right up the hill (it leaves every 10 minutes).

Being present

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #65

I’ve recently started an 8 week mindfulness course and in the last week I have meditated daily.  Hooray! Having the accountability of my course mates really helps to stay on track. While I meditate my thoughts are constantly running off all over the place to what happened during the day, what someone said to me, what I should have done or what I have to do the next day… That being said, I am glad to at least be carving out that quiet time for myself out of my daily schedule to slow down and strengthen the muscle of bringing my attention back to the present moment.  I am showing up with my beginner’s mindset and am very curious to learn and see what all this brings:)

Discovering new voices

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Last year in the context of work, I discovered the power of data-driven decisions and started to apply it in other spheres of my life.  In 2017, I aimed to read more books and watch less series, so I started to count and make a list of the books I had read.  Half-way through the year, though I was happy to be progressing on my goal to read more, I realised a large proportion of those books were written by men.

While there is nothing wrong with books written by men, I strive for equality so I decided to balance out the trend. I paid closer attention and consciously chose books written by women, as well as looking out for some voices that were new to me, and in the end, 43,6% of the 39 books I read were by women authors.

Now for 2018 I plan that at least 56,4% of the books I read are written by women.  I’ll report back on how it is going throughout the year:)

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Here are some of my favorite books written by women from my 2017 readings, perfect for curling up on the couch in these days of icy cold weather:

A little life – Hanya Yanagihara

This is one of the best books I read last year.  I keep coming back to the story and its characters who I couldn’t help but care for deeply and their relationships.  Utterly heartbreaking and not for the faint-hearted (there are images of abuse and violence that I still find difficult to shake off today).

The buddha in the attic – Julie Otsuka

The story of Japanese picture brides who moved to the United States in the 1900s. I really enjoyed how their stories are told anonymously and at the same time so personally. It was gripping and fascinating as I had never heard of this part of history.

New people – Danzy Senna

A modern love story about racial identity and figuring out what one really wants in life. I enjoyed the sneak peek into a Brooklyn lifestyle in the 90s and got caught up in the shenanigans of Maria, the main character whose behaviour is both mindboggling and completely relatable.

Salvage the bones – Jesmyn Ward

Day to day life of a family in the days leading up to Hurricane Katrina. So beautifully written and poetic. The characters are great and you really feel like you are there with them.

Twirling dancers

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #64

Today I would like to celebrate the insanely beautiful Romanesco broccoli. It turns out it is incredibly hard to take a picture that does justice to the amazing shape and geometry of this veggie. The upside is that, from this angle, the little peaks of the broccoli look to me like a dance-floor full of twirling dresses. So gorgeous!

Hiking up Monte Autore

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Today in Amsterdam, the weather is a drab grey with a bitter wind that turns cycling into a real battle if you are unfortunate enough to need to pedal against it. So I’ve decided to reminisce about that day during our stay in Rome when decided to get out of the city and go on a day-trip to Subiaco to climb the Monte Autore.

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It was a beautiful sunny day as we drove up the mountain, thoughwe weren’t at all prepared for snow as we’d only come with regular hiking shoes! Luckily many people had preceded us on the path and the snow was compact enough to walk on most of the way, if we just followed in people’s footsteps.

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Most of the way the path isn’t steep and we could just saunter along. As we got higher the views over the surrounding mountains became increasingly breathtaking. From the top, at 1854m, the landscape was amazing, with the clouds, mountains, trees and snow interweaving as far as the eye could see.

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On the way down, I suddenly found myself entirely alone as the others were further ahead. I took a short break, knee-deep in snow, surrounded by utter silence, just to soak up the utter joy of the moment.  I etched this moment into my mind, with all its sensations, to tap into when I need a boost (on a grey Sunday afternoon for instance). Then I proceeded to stumble/run giddily down the snow-covered slope to catch up with the others.