Getting my energy back

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #117

This is the season where the hours of daylight get ever so slightly longer after the long Dutch winter.  I’m slightly confused and happily surprised to find it’s not dark at 5pm.  As the days start to get longer, I’m also noticing my energy levels are gradually getting better after many months of struggling with burnout and a sense of constant exhaustion.

So what has changed? I’ve rested, a lot, taking it very easy over the last months.  But also I’m much more aware of what I need, I’m not pushing forward like a robot as much as I used to. In the mornings, I stop to think whether I feel like cycling to work through the hectic city center or whether I feel like choosing the confort of the tram where I can read, look out the window or write my morning pages.  I’m trying to spend less energy worrying about how things will go. I’m saying NO to things that I think will take more energy than I feel I have available, and YES to creative things that make my heart sing or open new horizons.

It’s not perfect, I still get the occasional headache if I don’t give myself a break on time or feel totally drained after a long day… But on the whole I’m putting more regular deposits into my energy bank, doing more things that are good for me and less SHOULDS and I can feel the difference. I’m grateful that the steps I am taking towards healing are bearing their fruits.

Inspiring workshop

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #57

This week I attended a very interesting workshop about gender at the office.  I really enjoyed taking a step back from day to day tasks to connect with my colleagues and find out how they experience this topic and also hear their points of view.

It was a great interactive session to raise awareness, as well as talk openly about what we see going on in our organisation (not just sexism, but also more generally observations around the importance of diversity and equality) and brainstorm together some concrete next steps to see some change.

Breaking patterns

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JOYFUL GRATITUDE #51

When I think of patterns I usually think of lovely shapes carved repeatedly into a wooden bench or gorgeous detailed drawings replicated over and over on a strip of wall-paper.

Unfortunately patterns are also insidious repeating behaviours that undermine daily happiness and make life unnecessarily complicated and difficult. I’m grateful for the people around me who are helping me become aware of unhealthy patterns in my life.

While this is a good first step, I also realise that now that I see these patterns, the hard work is actually in front of me. In the next weeks and months I want to create new patterns for myself, more adapted to the way I want to experience life, specifically around the topic of setting boundaries. I am looking forward to experimenting…