Guide for fun and energising Xmas gifts

November 12, 2018December 18, 2020 / cultivatingjoy / 2 Comments

Tired of shopping for presents just before Christmas in overcrowded shops? There’s nothing wrong with presents as such, but I feel like the pressure to buy gifts pushes us towards quick fixes that are not always satisfying. There has to be a better way, right?

As with everything, I believe it is possible to make the whole experience much more energising and sustainable, both for the person giving and the one receiving:) By being more mindful, we end up with intentional gifts and stories that lead to more fun and greater connection.

Giving

Experience gifts: They are the norm among my family and friends for several years already compared to material gifts. It’s a chance to offer someone an experience, based on their interests that they will remember and cherish, rather than just one more object. You can make it as cheap or expensive as you like (a home cooked meal or time spent together are great options).
Over the last years, I’ve given tickets to concerts, escape rooms and plays, offered vouchers for massages, made vouchers to spend creative time with friends and family…
TIP: if it is an activity for several people, plan a date immediately with all participants, so you have something to look forward to!
Secret Santa: instead of buying gifts for everyone, organise a secret santa so you can focus on getting a quality gift for just one person
TIP: get people to be very specific about that they want so you get them a gift that makes their heart sing (see below on Receiving).
Support small businesses: If you are buying material gifts (jewelry, clothes, decoration items…), think of this as an opportunity to support small/local businesses that make you enthusiastic and for who your purchase will make a difference, leading to a happy dance.
TIP: Keep a list of the small craft businesses/independent brands you come across all year around at local craft markets, Etsy or social media, so you can recall them when you need a gift.
Books: Buy from independent bookstores, this is the chance to browse through all those lovely covers and keep local bookstores alive
TIP: Experiment with books that you don’t know but are drawn to, discover new voices or authors from other countries
Wrapping: no need to spend money on new rolls of wrapping paper, just recycle newspapers or old magazines.
TIP: Try to personalise the wrapping paper for the recipient (it is a very mindful activity for winter nights:)

Receiving

Actually reducing the number of physical presents received is quite a lengthy process as culturally we feel we should not to come ’empty handed’. In the past, I’ve written emails to family and talked with friends to try and gracefully explain that I value experiences over material gifts. Slowly the idea is making its way and I have the secret conviction that it will inspire them too;) The experiences I received and participated in were super fun and created memories I’ll not forget like going to London for an incredible workshop with my favorite author or exploring the Japanese gardens with friends:)

Another idea is instead of people searching for a gift, to tell them upfront you would prefer to receive some money for you to give to your favorite charity. Alternatively, you can ask the person to use the money they would have spent on your gift on their favorite charity or to support their favorite artist on Patreon. They have more say on where the money goes and it is a win-win for everyone.

I’d love to hear more ideas! How will you make your Xmas shopping more intentional this year?

Books I enjoyed lately

July 6, 2018June 24, 2018 / cultivatingjoy / 1 Comment

JOYFUL GRATITUDE #86

At the beginning of the year, I looked back at the books I had read in 2017 and the statistics about how many of those books were written by men and how many by women. I aimed to read more books by women in 2018 to counterbalance that number.

As we are half-way through the year (already!) I thought I’d check my progress. So far I have read 22 books, of all sorts of genres (novels, crimes, non-fiction, self-help…). Of those books 12 were written by women, 8 by men and 1 by a woman/man couple (Nicci French). Some books were favorites that I re-read just for the pleasure and others were new discoveries. I thought I’d recommend the books I preferred for anyone looking for some holiday reading:

Carpentaria – Alexis Wright

A dear Australian friend recommended me Carpentaria when I told her I was looking to read more works written by women and wanted discover some new voices. Though it took me a little while to get into the book, pretty soon I was captured by the story and characters. It reads like a mix between ‘A hundred years of solitude’ and ‘Life of Pi’, with changes of rhythm as the author portrays the Aboriginal reality of a small town in Northern Queensland. A great read!

Fates and Furies – Lauren Groff

I found this book discounted in a local book shop and though I’d never heard it, I was tempted by the cover. It was a flowing read and I love a good peek into people’s lives (even if they are entirely fictional!). I won’t say much more as I don’t want to spoil it for you (something the cashier at the book shop couldn’t help doing when I bought it… luckily I enjoyed it all the same:).

The Monk of Mokha – Dave Eggers

If you like coffee and adventures, this is one for you! It’s the true story of a Yemeni American importing coffee from Yemen, the birthplace of coffee. An incredible and gripping true story of how far following your dreams will take you.

Happy reading!!

Word on the water

June 1, 2018June 1, 2018 / cultivatingjoy / Leave a comment

JOYFUL GRATITUDE #81

Bookstores are magical places for me. I get lost for hours, attracted by the colourful covers, picking up one book after another, feeling their weight, reading the back and thinking about all the wonderful stories I have yet to discover.

While in London, we stumbled across Word on the Water, a barge which houses an independent bookshop on Regent’s Canal, close to where we were staying. As we passed several times over the course of the next days, we got a peek into the rhythms of this lovely bookshop.

First time we passed by it was not open yet and a dog snoozing blissfully in its own armchair in the entrance. Later that evening, there were musicians playing a concert on the roof of the barge. As the music drifted to our ears, we explored the shelves full of new and second hand books, in the cosy interior, trying to find some treasures. Another day, some students were staging a photo-shoot in extravagant glittery costumes. I am grateful for independent shops, which bring life and joy to local neighbourhoods.

Discovering new voices

February 5, 2018February 4, 2018 / cultivatingjoy / 6 Comments

Last year in the context of work, I discovered the power of data-driven decisions and started to apply it in other spheres of my life. In 2017, I aimed to read more books and watch less series, so I started to count and make a list of the books I had read. Half-way through the year, though I was happy to be progressing on my goal to read more, I realised a large proportion of those books were written by men.

While there is nothing wrong with books written by men, I strive for equality so I decided to balance out the trend. I paid closer attention and consciously chose books written by women, as well as looking out for some voices that were new to me, and in the end, 43,6% of the 39 books I read were by women authors.

Now for 2018 I plan that at least 56,4% of the books I read are written by women. I’ll report back on how it is going throughout the year:)

*****

Here are some of my favorite books written by women from my 2017 readings, perfect for curling up on the couch in these days of icy cold weather:

A little life – Hanya Yanagihara

This is one of the best books I read last year. I keep coming back to the story and its characters who I couldn’t help but care for deeply and their relationships. Utterly heartbreaking and not for the faint-hearted (there are images of abuse and violence that I still find difficult to shake off today).

The buddha in the attic – Julie Otsuka

The story of Japanese picture brides who moved to the United States in the 1900s. I really enjoyed how their stories are told anonymously and at the same time so personally. It was gripping and fascinating as I had never heard of this part of history.

New people – Danzy Senna

A modern love story about racial identity and figuring out what one really wants in life. I enjoyed the sneak peek into a Brooklyn lifestyle in the 90s and got caught up in the shenanigans of Maria, the main character whose behaviour is both mindboggling and completely relatable.

Salvage the bones – Jesmyn Ward

Day to day life of a family in the days leading up to Hurricane Katrina. So beautifully written and poetic. The characters are great and you really feel like you are there with them.

Luxury is a state of mind

January 12, 2018October 23, 2018 / cultivatingjoy / 2 Comments

JOYFUL GRATITUDE #61

I am excited about the pile of new books on my dresser that are waiting to be read and the fact that it’s weekend, meaning I have plenty of free time to laze about in pyjamas with a delicious cup of tea and can delve uninterrupted into the worlds between their pages!

Some of my favorite non-fiction books

October 2, 2017September 30, 2017 / cultivatingjoy / 1 Comment

As the days are getting shorter and the rain pours down outside, I’m enjoying reading more, it’s the perfect way of spending a quiet afternoon indoors. If you are looking for some ideas for non-fiction books to read, here are a few that I’ve read over the last years that really changed my view on the world.

The gifts of imperfection – Brene Brown

This was the first book I read by Brene Brown, who is now one of my favorite authors and inspired my joyful gratitude posts. It’s a thin book that goes straight to the point, and really helped me to put things into perspective about how I wanted to live and what is important to me.

Non-violent communication – Dan Rosenberg

My Dad gave me this book years ago and my copy is falling to pieces from frequently going back to it. Despite its strange title, this book is a wonderful guide to communicating better with others. I’ve read it many times over the years, and even if I have to admit I am far from being capable of applying all its wisdom I am glad that it at least makes me more conscious of the traps we fall into.

Art of Non-Conformity – Chris Guillebeau

I found this small book whilst exploring the shelves of a lovely second-hand bookstore in Chicago. It’s a great reminder on how the status quo can and should be challenged, and the power of doing things your own unconventional way.

Cross-roads of should and must – Elle Luna

This is a colourful and beautifully illustrated book that I couldn’t resist buying once I flipped through its pages in the bookstore. It is very simple and gets you to be aware of all the ‘shoulds’ we have in our life and what might happen if we identified and chose our ‘must’ more often. So inspiring!

Chilling in Haarlem

August 11, 2017October 22, 2017 / cultivatingjoy / 1 Comment

JOYFUL GRATITUDE #39

There are those magic days where you travel to another city to meet with a friend for no other reason than to go and eat scones! Hooray!

Then you explore the tiny, well-kept streets overflowing with plants, and somehow later find yourself sitting in the sun for hours, enjoying vegan delicacies and talking about ‘everything and nothing’ like we say in French:) One topic leads to another and you start reminiscing about the books you read (or didn’t read!) as a teenager – Adrian Mole’s diary, Watership Down, ‘Fucked up youth’ (??, so curious about that last one;).

So grateful for the simple pleasure of good company, tasty food and lots of laughs!

My favorite books for creative inspiration

August 7, 2017August 6, 2017 / cultivatingjoy / 2 Comments

Summer is the perfect time to take a pile of books on holidays to read in the sun. Or to while away Sunday afternoons while our friends are abroad on holidays. I’ve decided to share some reading lists of my favorite books for those in search of some ideas.

These are some books that I just keep coming back to, books that I can pull off the shelf and open at a random page, sure that they will bring me the wisdom and encouragement I need to hear. Today I’ve listed my favorite books for creative inspiration.

Living out loud – Keri Smith
Lovely colourful and playful book about tapping into your creativity, including stickers, how-tos, guidance for living out loud daily.

The artist’s way – Julia Cameron
A classic, this book teaches you not just about creativity but also about how to live a life without fear and with boundaries. I love her simple tools to get inspired (morning pages and artist dates!).

How to make a journal of your life – Daniel Price
Small hand-written jewel filled with tips for journalling by writing and drawing, full of ideas to really look at the world (beware: this book makes you want to take a notebook and go on a long roadtrip;) )

Everyday matters – Danny Gregory
A heartbreaking memoir, such gorgeous drawings and wise words on how important it is to actually slow down in order to really see things and learn to treasure every moment.

Big magic – Elizabeth Gilbert
This book about the magic of creating is really fascinating. It changed my view on how to ideas appear and how to do the work. With her amazing podcast Magic Lessons Elizabeth Gilbert continues to dive into the subject with clarity and humour.

Happy reading!

Indie bookstore love

December 2, 2016January 22, 2017 / cultivatingjoy / Leave a comment

JOYFUL GRATITUDE #5

I’m really grateful to have discovered the wonderful independent bookstore Gogol & Company while I was visiting Milan last weekend. It’s the kind of place where you are greeted with a warm ‘Buongiorno!’ when you walk in, and you can hang out as long as you want on the comfy sofas and read the books, no questions asked.

It was the perfect place to spend a rainy afternoon by myself with no other place to rush off to… I really enjoyed just chilling, checking out their wonderful selection of books, soaking in the laid-back atmosphere and sampling their tasty food and coffee. Those few quiet hours left me feeling both deeply relaxed and energised:)