reading

When I found out that I am an introvert (I think I was about 30), it was a real a-ha moment. I had so often wondered how other people managed to spend so much time in groups or hanging out with other people, when after a couple of hours of socialising the only thing I felt like was heading home to chill alone with a good book. I often felt like there was something wrong with me.

Basically being an introvert simply means that spending time with other people drains your energy, and spending time alone allows you to recharge your energy. It was such a relief to find out that I’m not flawed. Knowing that I am an introvert has helped me to just be myself, and also I’ve become much more conscious of protecting my downtime by myself so that I recharge and save my energy. The best comparison I read is that as an introvert you are like a computer battery, you have a certain amount of capacity to interact with others, but once it is empty you can’t be social again until you recharge.

It’s definitely a learning curve as I spent most of my life feeling like I constantly ‘should’ want to be more social. Nowadays I can recognise my physical need to relax in order to process a busy day at the office or a social weekend with friends. I am practising saying NO a lot more to invitations (a part of me often wants to go but if I feel another part of me pulling back and thinking ‘this is too much, I actually just want to chill’, I do my best to listen to that voice). I try not to make too many social plans, especially when I’m using a lot of energy at work. But I do actively plan time alone to recharge (going for walks, naps, journalling, reading or daydreaming:)

A wonderful book I would recommend (for both introverts and those around them) is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. She writes really well on the common misunderstandings about introverts, how the world should pay more attention to them and how to carve space for yourself in our world as an introvert.

Before leaving for the Camino, I explained how I was inspired to walk the Camino by a Paulo Coelho book I read as a teenager (The Pilgrimage). So I found it a funny coincidence when just recently I stumbled across this interview of Paulo Coelho on a podcast where he speaks about his experience on the Camino and how afterwards he took the decision to start follow his dream and begin writing.

I really enjoyed the interview (which is not just about the pilgrimage). I found myself nodding in agreement to many of the snippets of wisdom. I particularly liked how Paulo Coelho explains what he went through to get his book (The Alchemist) published after its initial failure, what he says about his relationship with his wife and them not being the same people as who they were when they met so many years ago, as well as how we have dreams as teenagers that we forget but life gives us second chances.

Interestingly I re-read part of The Pilgrimage shortly before going to walk the Camino and I didn’t actually like the book anymore! It makes me really grateful for the image of the Camino that my younger self found within those pages at the time. I’m so glad that my mind held on to that impression for all these years, without letting me forget to follow this amazing dream.

Cultivating joy

On being an introvert

The power of a book